I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
