I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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