I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
