I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
