Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
