We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
