You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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