chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
50% drunk capacity currently
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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