i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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