You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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