Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i will never coherently bang her
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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