She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
