spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He shit in the fireplace
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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