she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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