so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
