I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
