fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
