just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
