i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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