sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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