So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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