Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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