marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
