How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
