I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
