Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?

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(630): View more from Illinois

My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'

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(714): View more from California

he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob

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(614): View more from Ohio

The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??

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(404): View more from Georgia

I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early

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