I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
