First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
