I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
