He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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