how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
