was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Let's get the cat blown out
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
