you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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