Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
