Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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