i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
