My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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