The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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