So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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