So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
