walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
