none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
