is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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