Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
