Tell her she can't have a vagina
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
There r osticjed everywhere
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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