Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
