when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
