put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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