I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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