On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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