just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
